“Love is not all”: 3 bitter truths

We believe that life does not make sense without romantic love, because it is a cure for all diseases, the solution of all problems, the driving force of life. But you can argue with this.

In 1967, John Lennon wrote a hymn of love – the song All You Need Is Love (“All you need is love”). By the way, he won his wives, did not care about the child, allowed anti -Semitic and homophobic statements to his manager and once all day lay naked in bed under the lenses of television cameras.

35 years later, Crete Reznor from the Nine Inch Nails group became the author of the song Love is not enunch (“Love alone”). Reznor, despite his scandalous fame, was able to overcome drug and alcohol dependence and sacrificed a musical career to spend more time with his wife and children.

One of these men had a clear and realistic idea of love, the other does not. One idealized love, the other is not. One may have suffered narcissism, the other is not.

If love solves all the problems, why worry about the rest-it

should still get settled somehow by itself?

If, like Lennon, we believe that love is enough, it means that such fundamental values are inclined to ignore such respect, decency and devotion to those whom we have “tamed”. In the end, if love solves all the problems, why worry about the rest-it should still get settled somehow by itself?

And agreeing with the Reznore that there is little love, we admit that healthy relations require something more than vivid emotions and passions. We understand that there is something more important than the fever of love, and happiness in marriage ultimately depends on many other factors that films do not make and do not sing songs.

1. Love is not identical to compatibility

The fact that you fell in love does not mean that a person suits you. People fall in love with those who not only do not share their interests, but are able to destroy their lives. But the belief that the existing “chemistry” is the main thing forces to despise the voice of the mind. Yes, he is an alcoholic and lets all his (and your) money in a casino, but this is love and you must be together at all costs.

When choosing a life partner, listen not only to the sensations from fluttering butterflies in the stomach, otherwise difficult times will come sooner or later.

2. Love does not solve everyday problems

My first girl and I love each other madly. We lived in different cities, our parents were at enmity, we did not have money and we constantly quarreled because of trifles, but each time we found comfort in ardent confessions, because love was a rare gift and we believed that sooner or later it would win.

However, this was an illusion. Nothing changed, the scandals continued, we suffered from the impossibility of seeing. The conversations on the phone lasted for hours, but there was little sense in them. Three years of torment ended with a gap. The lesson that I carried out of this: although love helps with optimism to perceive life troubles, it does not solve them. For a happy relationship, a stable foundation is needed.

3. Victims in the name of love are rarely justified

From time to time, any partners sacrifice desires, needs and time. But if for the sake of love you have to make self -esteem, ambitions or even a vocation, it begins to destroy you from the inside. Close relationships must supplement our personality.

You can take place in love only if something more important than this feeling appears in your life. Love is magic, wonderful experience, but, like any other, this experience can be positive and negative and should not determine who we are and why we are here. All -consuming passion should not turn you into your own shadow. Because when this happens, you lose both yourself and love.

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